Saturday, June 25, 2011

Potato Salad Prose

I like vegans and yogi's, health nuts and gluten free's. I like people on Atkins and South beach Wannabee's. I like those who struggle to touch their toes, I understand the attraction to chips and Oreo's. I like those who scoff at food killed in the wild, even those who force Okra on their precious little child. I like people allergic to all kinds of nuts, and especially one's skilled at cooking Boston Butts. I like fruit lover's and hater's too. But, most of all, I like YOU!  Thanks for visiting =)

Heck, I like everyone. But, that doesn't mean I want to BE like everyone (and neither should you). I am who I am and that's a meat and potatoes man.  I don't do diets, and exercise regularly to offset my fat and starch filled cravings.  I know that's not the healthiest way to eat and may cause scorn among many, but I enjoy life and happily know where I'm going, so I'm content.  Don't get me wrong, meat and potatoes is not all I eat, nor is it all I like.  Trying new foods and sampling the fare of different cultures is one of my passions and pleasures in life.  I'll try any food once, and even eat healthy on a regular basis.  In the end, however, the soul of my innermost being is a meat and potatoes man. Maybe if I ever eat rice wrapped in seaweed that tastes better than a perfectly cooked Pittsburgh style Ribeye I'll change my mind.  Until then, pass me the charcoal. I also know that I'm not alone, so I offer one of my favorite recipes for summer picnics, cookouts, or casual pot luck suppers.  It's not real healthy, not low carb, and definitely not fat-free; but after you taste it, you'll wanna slap your momma. (sorry mom)

Some people call this German Potato salad, but I'm not sure if that's technically correct, and I don't want the German food mafia raiding my picnic, so I just call it Hearty Red-Skinned Potato Salad. By hearty, I mean it sticks to your ribs and leaves you feeling satisfied. After a long day on the lake or a hard day tackling a lingering honey-do list, I need more than a slice of fruit or a spring roll to quiet the ole intestinal orchestra.  It has lots of potatoes and my favorite ingredient, bacon.  Crispy bacon is what makes life worth living. Scientists coined the term meta-physics to mean 'beyond' physics. I'm coining the term meta-ingredient, and applying it to bacon. It goes beyond normal ingredients into the realm of culinary nirvana.  That's my story, and I'm stickin to it.

Beyond the three main ingredients, there are many variations that allow you to tailor this recipe to your individual taste. There is one rule, however, that I must insist you follow; Do NOT substitute Miracle Whip for Mayonnaise!  The label even says 'Salad Dressing' and anyone who claims they are interchangeable only makes a mockery of any claim they have to being a true 'foodie'.  The Good Book says there are four things too hard to fathom; 'the way of an eagle in the sky', 'the way of a snake on a rock', 'the way of a ship at sea', and 'the way of a man with a woman'.  I'm sure if Solomon were alive today he would add; 'why people eat stewed okra', 'why people eat well done steak', and 'why people use Miracle Whip in potato salad'.  Yep. Just too hard to fathom.

Red Skin Potato Salad:

2lbs Red Skin Potato's cut into bite size pieces
1/2 pound crispy bacon crumbled into pieces (7-8 pieces)
1/2 cup Mayonnaise
(For proper pronunciation refer to An Officer and a Gentleman  i.e. MayO-NAIZE )
1/4 cup wickles pickles pickle relish (a slightly spicy alternative to regular relish)
1/4 cup chopped red onion
2 tbsp apple cider vinegar
1 tbsp prepared yellow mustard
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
optional: fresh chopped basil, dill, or other herbs of choice to taste

Boil the potato's in salted water approx. 10 min. Don't overcook. Drain and allow to cool slightly.

In a large mixing bowl, combine warm potato's with all other ingredients and mix thoroughly. Adjust seasoning to taste.

Serve warm, or refrigerate. I prefer to refrigerate and allow the flavors to meld completely before eating. It goes great with fried chicken, baked ham, or hamburgers like we had tonight.

I hope you enjoy this delicious and hearty dish as much as we do. You're sure to dream of bacon afterwards. Oh, and feel free to feast on sushi for the next few days. I'll still like you!


  1. Your first paragraph was PERFECTLY said. Everyone is their own person right? Thats the beauty of life - we are all entitled to our tastes. Looks yum!

  2. mmmhmm!! This looks so good! I loved your poem at the beginning, the biblical reference and your humor! Potato ono!

  3. Love that first paragraph! the potato salad even more. I wish I could reach in and eat it! Love it!

  4. wow awesome lunch and very fun post love it be yourself

  5. You totally made me laugh out loud, your first paragraph was fantastic!!! Nothing is better then potato salad in the summertime:-) Looks delicious!
    Hugs, Terra

  6. Thanks for sharing this, Alan! Not only that your prose is awesome; we also have a few people in common! How cool is that?

    Time to make potato salad! [Oh, and I cured my own mangalitsa bacon;-)]

  7. 6:30a and now I want potato salad -- you sure know how to make a girl hungry!

  8. loving the poem! hahah makes one feel special!
    I LOVE POTATO SALAD, potato salad loves meeeee so making it today Im grilling and it goes perfect

  9. Great post! I agree, you can't always eat whats good for you.

    And since potato is one of my main food groups this is right up my alley!

    Our recipes are very close, for a neat change try by baking the potatoes first, Baked Potato Salad rocks!

  10. Meta-ingredient... LOVE that! Fun post!
    I love potato salad and preferably with fried chicken.
    And both taste better at the beach!!

  11. Love it - the writing & the recipe! I make a potato salad with bacon too. I call it loaded baked potato salad. Bacon & potatoes belong together. :)

  12. Ok, seriously, what is there not to love about this post? The poetry... the ode to bacon... brilliant.

    "I'm coining the term meta-ingredient, and applying it to bacon. It goes beyond normal ingredients into the realm of culinary nirvana. That's my story, and I'm stickin to it." Hilarious! I love it! Completely identify with your food philosophy, as well.

    Thanks for the great read and recipe! Will definitely try this one out, now that summer has FINALLY arrived up here!

  13. OMG, this is too much! Love it. I always feel like an outlier, too, because most of my friends can be qualified as "girlie" eaters, and I love meat. And spice. And beer. And those things don't always equate to a nice Girls' Night Out. Will definitely try out the potato salad recipe!

  14. I do love a good potato salad:) And, while I'm a Fan of Miracle Whip for some things, I have to agree w/you on this one. It's just too sweet for potato salad.

    I posted a curried potato salad recently. The good thing about potato salad is how versatile it is! I rarely make the same kind twice. :)

  15. I know that you have to like me, because I am extremely skilled at roasting a Boston Butt, especially the cuts with skin on, which turns into divine cracklings:)
    I am not going to be the German Potato Salad police, as I don't subscribe to the rigorous adhering to the rules - as a hedonist, I change the recipes and ingredients to suit my likes:)
    Your take on it seems really flavorful, and I would not dream of substituting the dreaded Miracle Whip doe mayo:) I guess I am too attached to An Officer and a Gentleman (both my husband and I are enamored with that movie and watched it again the other night with our two tweens).
    My sister is married to a German, and they make a potato salad that is warm, void of mayo, but has a good amount of "speck":) As for me, I love potato salads of any kind, as long as they taste well and potatoes are cooked through:)
    Enjoyed the post, as usual!

  16. Oh you crack me up! I'm so glad you added that bit about the miracle whip. I think it is beyond gross and can't understand why anyone would use it! Now I want potato salad... Thanks!


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